Okay, so in Science class yesterday we were talking about sleep cycles and melatonin and my science teacher said, “if you’re trying to sleep, avoid one colour. Blue. Your melatonin levels decrease when looking at the colour blue because it’s the colour of the sky.” GUYS, I KNOW WHY NONE OF US SLEEP. TUMBLR IS BLUE.
He’s leaving to the Navy in less than 12 months..I love him and support him more than anybody. And he knows that. But in all honesty I’m scared to death. He’s my whole world, and we dont go more than 2 days without seeing each other (and that’s on a bad week). How am I supposed to go from being attached at the hip to not seeing him for 4 months while he’s at boot camp and then another 8 months while he’s at job-training school?! I stay strong in front of him and my family and his family and my friends, but when I’m alone I break down. I have no words for the feeling I have other than fear. I’m scared of him getting hurt or dying in the military. I’m scared of being alone. I’m scared of losing him. I’m scared he could find someone new while he’s gone. I’m scared that even after boot camp and job-training school is over, he’ll need to go on off-shore duty meaning I’ll be on base far far farrr from my friends and family and he’ll be on a ship somewhere. I won’t have my bestfriend with me to console me. I won’t have my mom to keep me busy. I won’t have my dad to give me the advice i need at late hours of the night. I won’t have my brother to make jokes to distract me from my loneliness. I’m losing the other half of me that makes me whole, that makes me complete.
But I’m so proud of him for doing what he wants with his life, and all the good, smart decisions he’s making about all of this. I just have this overwhelming fear of being lonely.
OK SO I WAS IN A PUBLIC RESTROOM AND I OPENED A PAD AND A LITTLE GIRL IN THE STALL NEXT TO ME WAS LIKE “WHY DOES SHE HAVE A SNACK”